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Monthly Archives: May 2009

Everything must go wrong at the same time. Few things annoy the piss out of me (ew) like computers being bitches.

But, I won’t give up. I don’t believe in a God in the standard sense, but I do believe that life is deliberately testing me. It’s Darwin, sitting there, pointing at me and staring at me like the evil monkey, hissing “survival of the fitteeeeeeeeeest“, now and then twitching with his left never-blinking eye. Yeah, I’m fit. I would travel through a hundred mile forest full of ogres. Speaking of Ogre… I got it working today. Yeah, take that, Darwin bitch.

Warranty, hopefully. And my mate’s computer is my friend.

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The occurance of these is something that is, luckily, on the decrease. But nonetheless, some software still does this.

Yesterday, I installed something called “MouseWare” on my computer. They are drivers for my Logitech mouse, which after installation only proved to make the mouse work worse (one button couldn’t be assigned in games) than if I used the generic mouse drivers in Windows. When I installed them, they just installed and were up and running instantly.

Now, when I uninstalled them, I got this (it’s still lingering behind this window as I type):

This is our way of saying "Hi! We are incompetent programmers! Have a nice day!"

This is our way of saying "Hi! We are incompetent programmers! Have a nice day!"

Of course I don’t need to reboot. The drivers are gone, or at least as gone as they need to be. If there is any action that has to be made that can only be done upon a restart of the operating system, then it can most definately wait. Why? Because upon uninstallation of the drivers, I clearly noticed the mouse behaving differently and back to normal again.

Now, a somewhat more competent software developer would have added a “No, I’ll reboot later” option.

An even more competent developer would have just added a note (if needed) at the end of the installation stating that “You should reboot, just in case” or nothing at all. If what I’ve installed isn’t completely rewriting the foundations of the operating system or if some hardware is really dependant on it to operate at all, then I understand a reboot.

These are mouse drivers. And my mouse works fine.

ctrl-alt-delete, click on uninstall process (with my fully working mouse btw), end process

Stupid incompetent garbage producers grind my gears so bad.

There are few things that make me as furious as computers. I am usually very patient, but when it comes to computers I can get in a rage. Think… road rage, but with a mouse and keyboard. Not… german kid idling in the Tokara Forest in Unreal Tournament -rage, at least not when I’m not alone. But not always. Only when I want to do something really simple, that should go really fast, but for some reason takes forever.

This brings me to one perticular grind – uninstallers. Or rather, programs that upon installation does NOT include an uninstaller in their short-cut folder in the Start Menu (Windows).

One program's shortcut folder. Can you see an uninstaller?

One program's shortcut folder. Can you see an uninstaller?

All programs, except the most putrid and nasty ones, have uninstallers in one way or another. Most add an uninstall shortcut, making it easy to remove the program once you don’t want it anymore. You can in the majority of cases go to the “Add/Remove programs” -tool located in your Control Panel and do the same thing, or try to find the executable file somewhere in a mess of files where the program is installed – something that might be harder than it sounds. So in order to uninstall a program that has no shortcut for it, I have to open the “Add/Remove programs” -tool.

I am an average user, I guess. I don’t install things that I don’t need, and I try to keep the computer clean and uninstall things that I no longer use.

However… opening up my “Add/Remove programs” window takes 55 seconds for my computer, from when I double-click that pesky link to the point when the tool actually shows a list of all the programs it found. And that is just to see the list. Then you have to wade through that list and find what you are looking for, which might also be harder than constipation because some software developers don’t call their software the same thing in the uninstall list!

A program called “Twatter” might actually be called “Spam-Laden’s Twatter” just because they felt it was cool to add their company name “Spam-Laden” in the title. And I’ve seen worse.

So, over 1 minute. That’s not so much, you ask? Try it. Try, when you open up – say – your internet browser, you immediately click “Stop” and then force yourself to wait for 50 seconds before going on to any real page. Or, the next time you want to write a chat message to a friend, open your IM client and just stare at his/her name for 50 seconds, before you can click him/her and write something.

Pretty frustrating, no? Add to that the fact that this is far from everything that can go slow on your computer.

This is an annoyance that a software developer can remove, easily. Just add that fraking “uninstall me” shortcut to the Start Menu, and voila. The world is a faster, more efficient and most of all happier place!

I love Steam. And I love the concept of browsing games, demos and forums, making purchases and downloads right in the integrated browser.

But for the love of Gods…

Why does it have to be so slow?!

I have a good internet connection. My other web browsers are rather quick, and my downloads are always around 200 kB to 2 MB per second depending mostly on the source. But sometimes, I have to restart Steam to even be able to load the Store page, and when it loads, it’s usually soooo veeeeryyyy sloooow. So slow, even, that things fail to load.

To prove my point;

Good.

This is how it should look. This is Good.

Now, here’s an example of it usually looks;

Bad.

This is the usual look. This is Bad.

Ahaha… by the love of BBQ!

This is pelvis sausage.

This is pelvis sausage.

Now, it would be one thing if this happened all the time. Then the problem would probably be on my end, or at least something that could be figured out. But no! It’s only syruppy slow about 80% of the time, and when it’s not, it’s just as flickery fast as the rest of my internet browsing normaly is!

This grinds my gears a lot sometimes. I just want to check the screenshots of a game and… No. Failed to load. White screen. Restart Steam in order for it to retry. Almost load everything again, but fail to load something else instead. It’s as if some of my data is a rhino trying to cram itself in through a small window…. sooooo slooooow….. and when it finally pops through, everything comes rushing through as though nothing had happened!

…until that next rhino comes along…

Update: After not being able to load the store page at all, I figured that maybe this problem is with Internet Explorer. It seems as if Steam wraps, or uses, IE in their own browser and I remember now that for some reason my Internet Explorer (7) is pretty bad (slow, can’t find some sites). I’m a Firefox user (naturally) so I hadn’t given it much thought. I updated my IE from 7 to 8 and now it seems as if the browser in Steam works better. Temporary perhaps. Placebo perhaps. I don’t care as long as I get to keep some of the hair on my head.